KRISTEN STEWART AND THE SNOW WHITE DILEMMA

I’ve never been particularly beautiful, and I don’t think Kristen Stewart is particularly beautiful. But try telling that to my 15-year-old niece and her expression freezes like I’ve just cut the tail off her favorite pony.

“How can you say that?” she screeches.

On the chest-of-drawers, vases and other undusted curios rattle.

“Kristen Stewart is the most gorgeous, polished, underrated teen actress there is!” she continues in a tone that would have defended even OJ Simpson. “Kristen Stewart IS Snow White.”

Emmmm.

This is not a good time to tell her that I don’t think Kristen Stewart is beautiful enough to play Snow White.

I don’t what you think about the two SNOW WHITE movies that are coming up in 2012. Kristen Stewart plays Snow White in one, called SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN, and Lily Collins plays Snow White in another soon-to-be-completed feature, called SNOW WHITE. (Yup, can’t get more creative than that.)

Lily Collins looks like the 1930s Disney version of Snow White, the one with the cute furry animals who don’t leave animal dander around for asthmatics. But Kristen Stewart is . . . well, what happens when you are one of the most famous teenagers on the planet? Can you actually play any iconic beauty role without everyone from Rumpelstiltskin to the fat bearded lady commenting on your looks?

Kristen Stewart is pretty. Hell, I would go on to say she’s majorly attractive – enough to attract vampires and werewolves, at least. But Snow White is meant to be the most beautiful girl on the planet at any given mythological time. I would have pegged Natalie Portman to play her. Or Keira Knightley. I might even be partial to Emma Stone.

But Kristen . . . the most beautiful girl on the planet?

And then it got me thinking . . . is beauty overrated, or beauty truly in the eye of those who would behold and Twitter about it?

I remember when they were casting Superman the first time round in the early 2000s. The fanboys were screeching every time a less than perfectly muscular, less than 6 foot Adonis was mentioned. It didn’t matter if the actor had acting experience or was better off modeling Calvin Klein briefs. It mattered only if the actor physically resembled Superman of the DC comics.

Then I figured I’m just as shallow as any of those fanboys. I wanted my Snow White to be the most beautiful girl who ever graced a ‘WANTED: PREFERABLY DEAD BY APPLE’ notice on a tree. I had a reason, you see. In my story, I slowly destroyed Snow White’s beauty to make a point – in the end, was she loved because she was beautiful, or because of everything else that she was? When you take that beauty away, would she still be loved?

So can Kristen play Snow White? In the end, it doesn’t matter if some people consider her the most beautiful thing since Venus de Milo got arms, or if other people think she’s not fit to roll naked around Robert Pattinson. It only matters if she makes us believe that she’s Snow White, and that beauty isn’t everything in a fairytale portrayal.

And I for one believe that she can.